An experience it certainly was. We do not believe the above picture correctly demonstrates the character and atmosphere of the place, but as we took no photos of our own that day (Friday 14th January 2011) this one will have to suffice forever, because we have no intention of ever setting foot there again. Unless it is to the detriment of the café.
Our experience began about a week before when Becky had a read-through arranged at said café. Thankfully, she had left punctually because it took her about 15 minutes to actually find the entrance to the building. There are in fact 2 entrances; one is through large almost barn-like doors that make you think you’re going to some existential hairdressers and the other is a small inconspicuous door. After asking the advice of the hairdressers, she eventually found her way to the main area.
Needless to say it was like walking into a production of Clockwork Orange directed by Tim Burton. Music was eerie and quite piercing. People weren’t any better, but this was (as far as we can tell) a student-run joint, and so the decoration was put down to mere quirkiness and not much more attention was paid to it.
Having then scheduled lunch together further on in the week, we decided to give the café a go for various reasons. Apparently, the place was vegetarian, and having recently become such a one Becky was eager to take advantage of cuisine specifically designed for her lifestyle. Jackie agreed, having no reason to think badly of it.
We entered through the inconspicuous door, mainly because it would be unfortunate if people associated our hair with that salon. There was a sort of ante-room/corridor that lead straight to the main seating area. In the photo, our entrance is behind the white pillar. Yeah. That is a door.
First thing to note was the string sagging from pins on the walls that held mittens. Mismatching mittens. Whoa there with your quirky student anti-establishment statement. ‘Let’s show our distaste for government by hanging odd gloves on a piece of string.’
It may be political, it may be poetic and it may be that they thought it was fun. Fair enough, but then a random girl stands on a chair underneath it and says (in the manner of Luna Lovegood) “I like this one, it’s pretty”, then walks out still clutching the mitten.
What?
Clearly this act is common practice in the establishment as it elicited not even a snicker, merely an approving nod from a corner table. Meanwhile, we gawked for a few minutes more with open mouths and puzzled brows and brains quaking in confusion and concluded that we were in for some serious entertainment.
Cue the winner of the Most Awesome Patron Award: a man with a carefully waxed and twisted moustache who was clearly there for a victory veggie burger after tying people to train tracks from which they inevitably escaped.
Eventually, we did order food. Soup for Becky. Soup and Coffee for Jackie. It was only a few minutes of catching-up and chin-bounces later that the inevitable waitress came over with one bowl of soup to inform us that they had run out. The Soup, we might add, was essentially a solitary parsnip they had put through the blender. We were then asked if we wanted a refund or if we wanted a burger (a BURGER? Congratulations you’ve just qualified as the first vegetarian restaurant to serve meat) or if we wanted to (as the banner behind us read), “donate the money to save the Rainforest Café?”
No. Money, please. While you’re at it, find out how much you would get from insurance if this place burned down, because it might be more helpful for the actual rainforest if you just gave them that payment as opposed to serving broke students ‘soup’.
Actually, give it to any other even slightly worthwhile cause. We are not fussy.
However, if you feel that Uni is the time for you to venture completely out of your comfort zone and meet people with whom you are bound to have almost nothing in common (at least not of any intrinsic value- they probably still like chocolate, cause who doesn’t like chocolate?), then we highly recommend that you wander over and check out this utterly odd place.
Just remember to pack a lunch because they won’t feed you.
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